Really Oxygen?!! Really?!

October 12, 2010

When the Oxygen Network first began it was supposed to be TV for women by women…for crying out loud Oprah (THE Queen of all women) put her name and seal of approval on it!
Oprah Winfrey

Then I guess the powers that be started to realize that certain shows were gaining more of an audience than others. Shows that displayed the other side of women like “The Bad Girls Club”—where women behaved less like ladies and more like community college sorority girls who NEVER went to class. It seemed the crazier and more outrageous the girls – the higher the viewership. Then, shows like “Hair Battle Spectacular” and “House of Glam” came to air – less physical fighting but still the spin of drama, fashion and flair. Fine. Fair enough. They also had the GREAT idea to combine Biggest Loser with So You Think You Can Dance. How can you go wrong there!? Fat people who are having to literally Dance Their Asses off to stay in the game. Brilliant! But then came the crown jewel of Oxygen Networkl programming. They tapped into the hearts of women all across America with Snapped!. Their CORE audience: women who if they could lose their shit on their spouse or ex would—but they have better sense not to. We (I include myself ‘cause I can’t not watch this series) stopped, watched and even DVR’d. Say what you will about it- it’s sad, it reflects poorly on our current society, it sets a bad example for other women- I for one beg to differ! Nobody who’s featured on snapped is getting away with anything!!! All these crazy bitches have to pay the price for their lapse in judgment and self-control. I think this show should be lauded for serving as an example of what can happen to you when you let your hormones and overzealous imagination get the best of you. So just do what I do and live vicariously through the women who “snapped” then pull yourself together and go on with the rest of your life.

Sidenote: I still don’t understand why Dove chocolates and Tampax aren’t the only sponsors for this program. Seems so fitting.

As you can see I’m a BIG fan of Oxygen- HUGE! But recently I heard something that made me shake my head in Scooby-doo-what-there’s-no-more-Scooby-snacks fashion and say “Rhut!?” Words from the blogosphere and entertainment news have it on best authority that Paris Hilton will be getting her own reality show on yes, you guessed it—The Oxygen Network!

Parish Hilton
This is the same Paris Hilton who went from being a quasi-respected member of a socialite family to a sex tape scandal star. Who when she lost her dog—was putting up $10,000 dollar reward posters all over Beverly Hills for Tinkerbell the Chihuahua; then remembered she’d left her at her grandmother’s house!!! This is the same Paris Hilton who was arrested for driving under the influence- but spent less time in jail than she’s spent collectively under a tanning bed!!! The same Paris Hilton who just pleaded guilty for cocaine possession and lying to a police officer!!! WTF Oxygen REALLY?!! REALLY??!! This crazy bitch who has absolutely NOTHING to offer society gets a show? Are you serious?!! Tori Spelling has more redeeming qualities in her right ankle than this clown!

Here’s the deal! I’m woman enough to admit when I’m jealous. This tirade has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with feeling like a serious line has been crossed in society and the media. I am sick and frappin’ tired of seeing people (esp. rich people) continue to get richer and rewarded for lacking character and value. There are too many interesting talented people who can actually be fun to watch and not the worst example of what bad parenting, too much money and having no scruples has to offer.
Karith on Red Steps w Lealah small-for-FB

I happen to know an adorable funny smart respectable comedian – who by the way knows where her Chihuahua is right now – who’d be more than willing to lead a reality show for you.

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Cross Country Universal Truths…

September 14, 2010

In the past 8 days I have driven from New York City to Los Angels to shall we say, “give it a shot”—‘cause you can’t get struck by lightening if you’re not standing in the rain right? I had to drive because as anyone with 6 brain cells knows you HAVE to have some mode of transportation to get around out here. I know they have a mass transit system, but it’s got nothin’ on NYC’s MTA. In my 192-hour journey I became aware of things I’d never known before. I will share them with you in no particular order of importance.
Universal Truth #682: People who drive Dodge Chargers are rude, inconsiderate a-holes who like [...]

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Driving Etiquette

March 10, 2010

Those of you who know me know that I like to consider myself a lady. I say “please” and “thank you”; “bless you” when someone sneezes. I swear sparingly and cross my legs at my ankles when wearing a short skirt. I like to think these manners translate to my behavior when driving. Now, I’m not a braggart, but I have been driving since I was 15 years old. Not just because I’ve got skills- (Sure, you can call me the “Black” Danika Patrick), but in Texas, so long as you have an adult in the car you can get your license before 16.
So not only do I have time under my belt, I am [...]

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My Tiger Beat (Down)

December 12, 2009

One of the best things about having your own website is you can issue statements or rebut claims that have been made about you that aren’t exactly true or that don’t tell the WHOLE story. This past week I was teamed up with a woman I worked with when I first moved to New York City. She was, and still is, a host on the popular television show “The View” and back then I was a production assistant. Fast forward 10 years to a successful comedy career- one that’s spanned national and international television and radio; we meet again. This time I was a guest commentator on her show—the Joy Behar Show.
Well, I said some [...]

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Viva Las Vegas

November 12, 2009

I just spent an entire week in Las Vegas, Nevada performing at the Comedy Stop in the Sahara Hotel & Casino.

I knew it was going to be a trip when this was the first sight I took in when I got off the plane.

Let me preface by saying, this was the longest time I have ever been in Vegas voluntarily. If it were up to me the kitschy slogan wouldn’t be “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” But, “Las Vegas- where you can get more than just hope sucked out of you!” I think you’re already starting to catch my drift about how I feel re: “Sin City”. Now, I’ve been to [...]

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Bubble Girl

October 29, 2009

When I was a little girl I had many instances where I thought I was being wronged or getting the short end of the stick. I know, you’re probably thinking who would intentionally rob such a sweet little brown girl of her joie de vivre? Well, let me tell you, I promise the answer will shock and awe you.

When I was 4 years old I couldn’t blow a bubble to save my life. So it soon became the mission of all the neighborhood kids in our quaint close-knit suburb to help little Karith Foster blow her first bubble. We did everything—after pre-k tutorials, weekend workshops in the clubhouse – but nothing worked. My friends were [...]

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Hallo-will or Hallo-won’t for Halloween

October 28, 2009

I like to think I’m a pretty decisive individual. When I go out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants it takes me around 10.7 seconds (yes I’ve clocked it) to decide what I’m going to have for dinner. When given the choice between chocolate or vanilla it’s always chocolate—unless we’re having cake and red velvet is an option. (I’m a Southern girl at heart- what do you want from me?)
That’s why it is so puzzling that I’m having such a tough time deciding what to be for Halloween this year. Several years back I sported this sexy nurse uniform with a stethoscope and Florence Nightingale hat and all. I was “Kinky Caretaker [...]

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Discover the Discovery Network

October 12, 2009

You ever have a bad day? Week? Year? Sure, we all have! But forget Paxil or Cymbalta or any of those other drugs whose side effects have progressively worsened over the years. Y’all remember when once upon a time the worst side effects from a prescription anti-depressant were possible headaches and explosive diarrhea. Now it’s paranoia, hallucinations and occasional thoughts of suicide—Really Pfizer?! Really Glaxo??!

I say screw that prescription crap and do what I do. When I’m feeling down I medicate the good ol’ fashioned Generation X way: ESCAPISM—via a mixture of voyeurism and technology. That’s right. I turn on the boob tube and let the magic healing happen. Don’t get me wrong I’m pro-active [...]

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F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y

October 4, 2009

Lately, it seems like every time we turn on the news all we hear about are people gettin’ their freak on like adolescent bunny rabbits hopped up on “E”. And it’s not just some phenomena with our political leaders—everyday  people, are gettin’ in on the  “horn-dog” action. Being the feminist that I am, I wish I could say it was just a case of “have penis will travel”. But women are doing it too!  I call that “have vajayjay will vacation”. Although I do think a woman’s appetite for getting probed is a tad less adventurous than a man’s appetite for probing options. From melons to apple pies- nothing’s off-limit for y’all.
After much consideration I’ve [...]

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Crappy Dilemma

September 29, 2009

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from my Chihuahua’s vet saying that it was time for a parasite check-up. Which as it turns out means they need to inspect her cute little puppy poop. So being the good dog-mother that I am I called her vet immediately to make an appointment. To my surprise the receptionist said, “Oh, we don’t need to see her. All you have to do is just drop a sample off.” Well, that’s all fine and good and it wouldn’t be an issue if I lived IN Long Island where the vet is located. But I live in Manhattan about 50 miles, $11 worth of tolls and a quarter tank of gas [...]

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