Summer Couture Part #1

July 24, 2009

Summer is here and from what I’ve seen some folks are taking liberties with themselves and with fashion they shouldn’t. Ladies in sundresses who look like you’ve got an orangutan in a headlock. I am talking to you!….Unless of course you’re French or “play softball”—in that case “You Go Girls!” However, if you do not eat brie every day OR teach P.E. at the local high school, then the under arm “yak attack” look is OUT and you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. I’m not saying you have to shave- but you’ve got options: there’s Nair, waxing, and a great product called Nads—which I think is very apropos ‘cause if you don’t [...]

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Keep it in the “Jackson” Family

July 22, 2009

There’s so much drama surrounding Michael Jackson’s death. Did someone kill him? What’s going to happen to Neverland Ranch? Who’s getting his kids, that aren’t really his kids, but whatever!!!
I say give em’ to a Jackson…just make it a Jackson that still has their original nose. Granted that cuts out all of The Jackson 5, LaToya, and Janet- “Miss Jackson” if you’re NASTY! But there are plenty of other Jackson’s out there right?!
You got Bo Jackson. Sure he may not be able to teach little Paris and Prince Michael to moon walk, but little Blanket’ll be the baddest blocker on his pee-wee football team. Or give ‘em to baseball great Reggie Jackson…hellooo, they’re already [...]

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Weinermobile Accident

July 21, 2009

One of my favorite news stories this summer has to do with a giant wiener. A wiener so big it needs wheels and a staff. No, I’m not talking about Ron Jeremy- minds out of the gutter people! I’m talking about the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. America’s most visible mobile member. A short while ago there was an accident. Which is bound to happen anytime you’re constantly driving a wiener in and out and out and in to several cities especially, sister cities across America. Is it ironic or fitting that this occurred in the town of Mount Pleasant? You be the judge. But like any good wiener it was covered, I mean it had protection- [...]

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Diversity Inc

April 17, 2009

I get a weekly newsletter from the website Diversity, Inc.com. My favorite articles are the ones that address “what not to say” in the work place. Kind of like the warnings on hairdryers that say “not to be used in the bathtub or shower”—Stuff we’d like to think is a given, but clearly enough people have done it that something extra needed to be said.
According to this site you really shouldn’t say stuff to Latino executives like: “Hola, Habla Ingles?”, or  “Do you live with your parents?” And, my favorite—“Can you show me your knife?”- No sh*t this was literally in this article.
Might I make a suggestion to my Latino executives friends? I contend that [...]

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Mamafest Destiny

April 7, 2009

Like the rest of the world I too was in shock when I heard Madonna’s dream of adopting another child from Malawi was crushed. Crushed like the hopes and dreams of any mouse that my boyfriend Mat’s snake Herbert gets his un-hingable jaw around. What really gets me, is that this is just another case of the Black MAN keeping a wealthy white woman down. And it makes me sick! You what else makes me sick? That people are glad Madonna was told to talk to the kenta cloth covered hand! Personally, I don’t think it’s right to gloat when a celebrity’s dreams are crushed—unless they stole something from you like a part or [...]

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Don’t Ruin It For The Rest Of Us

March 30, 2009

I LOVE women! On a scale of 1 to 100…1 being Chris Brown- 100 being Ellen Degeneres- I’m like an 84…89 after a couple ‘a Cosmos and if you count my girl-crush on Vanessa Williams. What I don’t love are women who are effing it up for the rest of us. I’m talking about two ladies in particular: The Connecticut Cookoo who lured her estranged husband cross-country only to handcuff him to herself while he was sleeping AND the Swedish countess who’s looking for a $100 million dollar divorce settlement. Now, I’m not mad at either of y’all, but your techniques are all wrong.
Handcuff Lady- I’m your friend. I know you just wanted to have [...]

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Green, Purple, Polka-Dotted Really!

March 21, 2009

Now that Barack’s blown this whole “race thing” out of the water with his undeniably poignant speech Tuesday, let’s take this as a sign to cut the crap America. “White ladies who lunch”- you no longer have to whisper “Black” when you’re talking about your new next door neighbors.  And Black folks now you don’t have to hide from your white friends that you think most of them smell like dogs when their hair gets wet…On second thought, maybe there is such a thing as too much openness. (Don’t get crazy people.)
But there’s a group of folks that get my panties in a wad. I’m talking about people who when trying not to sound racist [...]

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Finders Keepers

February 2, 2009

Remember that crazy Long Island doctor—the one who wanted his kidney back after his wife filed for divorce.  Well, turns out he’s not the only dude who’s sorry he was so generous. 28 yr. old Thomas Lee Rowley also felt entitled to get something back he gave his girlfriend. Not a ring, not an organ, not even the gift that keeps on giving—nope, he wanted her boobs. ‘Cause apparently he paid for them. Yeah, well, cry me a river “Mr.-More-Than-a-Handful-Isn’t-Enough”. But guess what?! She paid for ‘em too. All those times she went to a muscle car show instead of the mall with her friends. Every time she dealt with “man hair” in the bathroom. [...]

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Do All Vegetarians Have Better Sex?

January 28, 2009

I’ve got some sad news. Superbowl 43 going to be a little less sexy, now that PETA’s “anti-meat” commercial has been banned from the airways. It’s been ruled too racy for TV; ironic considering the cheerleaders look like they got their uniforms from a Scores “going-outta-boobies” sale. I’m just sayin’—if they were guys, their little hot pants would be so tight you could tell if they celebrated Christmas or Hannakuh. I saw the PETA ad. It’s you’re basic gorgeous model; in barely there clothes, violating a cornucopia of vegetables. I personally will never be able to look at crudite the same way again. If Julia Childs were alive this would kill  her. But what repulses [...]

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Texas Karith vs. New York Karith #3

January 26, 2009

I’ve been a public personality on the radio for a little over a year now and many people know me as the sweet, well-meaning girl from Texas and they’re right- but I’m complex people. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde there is a dark side to Karith Foster. A side that I try not to let anyone see, but I realize by holding that part of myself back I’m only hurting ME and cheating YOU!
It’s come to my attention that teen sensation Miley Cyrus aka Destiny Hope Cyrus aka Hannah Montana aka Billy Ray Cyrus’ girlfriend…I mean daughter has a 7-figure book deal. Y’all she’s 16 years old! Now the Texas me thinks it’s wonderful- [...]

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