The local Tri-State Area news never ceases to amaze, entertain and disturb me. A few nights ago it was local NYC anchor Ernie Anastos with the most unusual pass off to a weatherman I’d ever heard. For some reason unknown to man and probably God, Ernie felt the need to say, “Keep f*#king that chicken.” Um, okay.
Tonight though it wasn’t what any of the newscasters had to say that made my eyebrows raise but the news itself. The story of the night came out of Connecticut of all places. It was about a nurse’s aid, who as the anchor said in her anchorly way, “is nursing some wounds of her own after a bar fight.”…But this wasn’t your normal everyday bar fight. It wasn’t like girlfriend got caught in the crossfire of two goons having a pissing match over whose football team was going to take it all the way this season. No, this poor woman was attacked by 6 other women after they found her karaoke singing in a bar so offensive they took it upon themselves to let her know she sucked. Apparently they didn’t have the acerbic wit of American Idol’s Simon Cowell who would have told her that her singing made puppies cry. Nor did they think booing or throwing dinner rolls would get the message across. Instead,with their combined IQ’s of 420 they collectively agreed that beating the hell out her would convey their malcontent. Now there are many questions to ask here. But the first two should be: 1) How much tequila did these “thugettes” have to drink and 2) how god-awful was this woman’s signing? She couldn’t have been worse than William Hung- that Chinese kid who broke every law of melody. I also can’t imagine a song so bad worthy of bring about a beat down. No, wait. I lied. If this chick was singing Chumbawumba’s “I Get Knocked”- then yes, she should have faced corporal punishment. Don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating violence just a smack- enough to sting but not leave a bruise. I think it’s clear that I for one am not a big fan of karaoke. I absolutely believe the word “karaoke” translated from Japanese means “revenge for Hiroshima”. That said I still don’t think anyone no matter how awful they are should be seriously wounded for torturing the rest of us.