When the Oxygen Network first began it was supposed to be TV for women by women…for crying out loud Oprah (THE Queen of all women) put her name and seal of approval on it!
Then I guess the powers that be started to realize that certain shows were gaining more of an audience than others. Shows that displayed the other side of women like “The Bad Girls Club”—where women behaved less like ladies and more like community college sorority girls who NEVER went to class. It seemed the crazier and more outrageous the girls – the higher the viewership. Then, shows like “Hair Battle Spectacular” and “House of Glam” came to air – less physical fighting but still the spin of drama, fashion and flair. Fine. Fair enough. They also had the GREAT idea to combine Biggest Loser with So You Think You Can Dance. How can you go wrong there!? Fat people who are having to literally Dance Their Asses off to stay in the game. Brilliant! But then came the crown jewel of Oxygen Networkl programming. They tapped into the hearts of women all across America with Snapped!. Their CORE audience: women who if they could lose their shit on their spouse or ex would—but they have better sense not to. We (I include myself ‘cause I can’t not watch this series) stopped, watched and even DVR’d. Say what you will about it- it’s sad, it reflects poorly on our current society, it sets a bad example for other women- I for one beg to differ! Nobody who’s featured on snapped is getting away with anything!!! All these crazy bitches have to pay the price for their lapse in judgment and self-control. I think this show should be lauded for serving as an example of what can happen to you when you let your hormones and overzealous imagination get the best of you. So just do what I do and live vicariously through the women who “snapped” then pull yourself together and go on with the rest of your life.
Sidenote: I still don’t understand why Dove chocolates and Tampax aren’t the only sponsors for this program. Seems so fitting.
As you can see I’m a BIG fan of Oxygen- HUGE! But recently I heard something that made me shake my head in Scooby-doo-what-there’s-no-more-Scooby-snacks fashion and say “Rhut!?” Words from the blogosphere and entertainment news have it on best authority that Paris Hilton will be getting her own reality show on yes, you guessed it—The Oxygen Network!
This is the same Paris Hilton who went from being a quasi-respected member of a socialite family to a sex tape scandal star. Who when she lost her dog—was putting up $10,000 dollar reward posters all over Beverly Hills for Tinkerbell the Chihuahua; then remembered she’d left her at her grandmother’s house!!! This is the same Paris Hilton who was arrested for driving under the influence- but spent less time in jail than she’s spent collectively under a tanning bed!!! The same Paris Hilton who just pleaded guilty for cocaine possession and lying to a police officer!!! WTF Oxygen REALLY?!! REALLY??!! This crazy bitch who has absolutely NOTHING to offer society gets a show? Are you serious?!! Tori Spelling has more redeeming qualities in her right ankle than this clown! Here’s the deal! I’m woman enough to admit when I’m jealous. This tirade has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with feeling like a serious line has been crossed in society and the media. I am sick and frappin’ tired of seeing people (esp. rich people) continue to get richer and rewarded for lacking character and value. There are too many interesting talented people who can actually be fun to watch and not the worst example of what bad parenting, too much money and having no scruples has to offer.
I happen to know an adorable funny smart respectable comedian – who by the way knows where her Chihuahua is right now – who’d be more than willing to lead a reality show for you.
In the past 8 days I have driven from New York City to Los Angels to shall we say, “give it a shot”—‘cause you can’t get struck by lightening if you’re not standing in the rain right? I had to drive because as anyone with 6 brain cells knows you HAVE to have some mode of transportation to get around out here. I know they have a mass transit system, but it’s got nothin’ on NYC’s MTA. In my 192-hour journey I became aware of things I’d never known before. I will share them with you in no particular order of importance.
Universal Truth #682: People who drive Dodge Chargers are rude, inconsiderate a-holes who like nothing better than to rev their engines, ride your tail and then cut you off WITHOUT using their blinker. Oh, and they usually have shitty tastes in car colors too- like lime green and banana yellow.
Universal Truth #439: “Gentlemen’s Clubs” i.e. tittie bars, strip joints whatever you want to call them always have cheesy names- usually girls’ names which is ironic because I doubt a woman is making the majority of the money that is being exchanged in such an establishment. I credit this knowledge to my passing by Jill’s, Savanna’s and Monica’s “gentlemen’s clubs” on my way through the Midwest. Oh, but wait there was a Godfather’s establishment. Just wondering why there wasn’t a Frank’s or Bill’s or Stan’s? Maybe because those clubs would be targeting the “man’s man.”
Universal Truth #12: Apparently people in the middle of the country celebrate the 4th of July all year-round. They must because why the hell else would there be so many fireworks stands…literally one every 50 miles. What else are these people doing with them?…Wait- I don’t want to know.
Universal Truth #455: Regardless of what state, coast or city you’re in 98% of people with personalized license plates have wasted there money on something stupid, BUT that makes them easier to catch if they are running from the law in their car. Thank you beat up Jeep with “SCREECH” as your license plate. And I can’t for get you Dodge Charger with “SUPRCHRGR” on your ass.
Universal Truth #1: Most people are good people who when greeted with a smile will return one in kind. I never felt unsafe or threatened and I know without a doubt that I live in the most beautiful and greatest country in the world and for that I am eternally grateful.
Karith Foster: Speaker, Humorist, Author
Karith Foster is a stand-up comedian, motivational speaker, TV & radio personality, actress, author, blogger and entrepreneur.
Karith Foster's Topics of Laughter