Those of you who know me know that I like to consider myself a lady. I say “please” and “thank you”; “bless you” when someone sneezes. I swear sparingly and cross my legs at my ankles when wearing a short skirt. I like to think these manners translate to my behavior when driving. Now, I’m not a braggart, but I have been driving since I was 15 years old. Not just because I’ve got skills- (Sure, you can call me the “Black” Danika Patrick), but in Texas, so long as you have an adult in the car you can get your license before 16.
So not only do I have time under my belt, I am I an excellent driver (said in my best Dustin Hoffman Rainman voice), but I possess what I like to think of as top notch driver’s etiquette. I use my blinker when I need to change lanes 97% of the time. If some kind soul let’s me cut in front of them I wave a thank you gesture. I even let other people in front of me especially if we’re in the same “car family”.
I’ve truly loved all the cars I’ve had and felt a personal bond with them that many may deem unnatural. My first car “Shelia” (Yes, I name all of my cars) was my girl! Sheila and I made countless trips back and forth to Missouri when I was in college. We made a 12-hour trip 10 hours many times over and only got one speeding ticket to show for it. She was my first and only sports car.
My second car “Jacqueline” who was a bit more sophisticated came with me to NYC, and although she spent most of her time in New Jersey she saw much of the East Coast from Virginia to Rhode Island and all the states in between as we spent A LOT of time driving to comedy gigs.
And my current baby, “Troyella” …or “Troy” as she goes by has also seen her fair share of Manhattan and the Eastern Seaboard too.
Like many Americans I can say that I sometimes live in my car. I even admit to doing some things in cars I probably shouldn’t have while driving and while parking (but that’s not for publication). I’ve eaten in my car, spoken on the phone and texted (bad Karith), I’ve even been one of those awful people who has applied make-up while behind the wheel. I am ALL about multi-tasking. But I think there comes a time in one’s life where they draw the line. And no matter how comfortable you feel in your car, how close you are to your car there are some things that should NEVER EVER be done while driving. At the top of that list should be at shaving your cooter.
I would have never even thought to advise people against something like that- thinking that oh, it requires a certain amount of attention to detail. More detail than going 65 miles an hour down a highway allow- that and maybe a shower. But apparently not everyone in America has the sense that God gave them. A woman in Florida was recently arrested for uh-um “grooming downstairs” while driving to meet her boyfriend. Again, I’m all for multi-tasking but C’MON!!! If Oprah’s pissed about people talking on their cell phones while driving I can’t wait to see this campaign.
Karith Foster: Speaker, Humorist, Author
Karith Foster is a stand-up comedian, motivational speaker, TV & radio personality, actress, author, blogger and entrepreneur.
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