F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y

Lately, it seems like every time we turn on the news all we hear about are people gettin’ their freak on like adolescent bunny rabbits hopped up on “E”. And it’s not just some phenomena with our political leaders—everyday  people, are gettin’ in on the  “horn-dog” action. Being the feminist that I am, I wish I could say it was just a case of “have penis will travel”. But women are doing it too!  I call that “have vajayjay will vacation”. Although I do think a woman’s appetite for getting probed is a tad less adventurous than a man’s appetite for probing options. From melons to apple pies- nothing’s off-limit for y’all.

After much consideration I’ve come to the controversial conclusion that—as great of an idea as it is: Monogamy is NOT a natural state, but rather a discipline that is either voluntarily or socially imposed. I’m not saying that I condone infidelity. I’m the product of parents who’ve been married for 40+ years. I want to believe you find that one person- your soul mate, you have your Jerry McGuire “you complete me” moment then you’re done- GAME OVER! But it’s not that easy ‘cause as advanced as we are—at the root we’re still animals. Animals who can text and hook-up anonymously on the internet. And so far the only animal, science has proven beyond a doubt to be monogamous is a flatworm. That’s right a worm! One that when it finds it’s partner fuses with it until they’re one; then a la Romeo and Juliet, they die together. Studies show that even the once thought faithful penguin show signs of infidelity.  But if there’s any species in the animal kingdom who should be absolved for cheating it should be the penguins. Cause the excuse of “Damn Baby, I thought that was you!!” is TOTALLY believable!

Being faithful isn’t easy- if it were Maury Povich would be looking for work and we’d have a single-digit divorce rate in this country.  It takes practice people. It’s like a muscle- you have to exercise it or it goes limp- OR it goes to the Days Inn. You like your co-worker that much?- Do wreck you’re life by dippin’ your pen in company ink?! ‘Course not!!! Hello that’s what fantasies are for? Your partner doesn’t need to know- and uh, David Letterman- nobody else does either! Come on say it with me F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y!   F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y!     F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y!