Those of you who know me know that I like to consider myself a lady. I say “please” and “thank you”; “bless you” when someone sneezes. I swear sparingly and cross my legs at my ankles when wearing a short skirt. I like to think these manners translate to my behavior when driving. Now, I’m not a braggart, but I have been driving since I was 15 years old. Not just because I’ve got skills- (Sure, you can call me the “Black” Danika Patrick), but in Texas, so long as you have an adult in the car you can get your license before 16.

So not only do I have time under my belt, I am I an excellent driver (said in my best Dustin Hoffman Rainman voice), but I possess what I like to think of as top notch driver’s etiquette. I use my blinker when I need to change lanes 97% of the time. If some kind soul let’s me cut in front of them I wave a thank you gesture. I even let other people in front of me especially if we’re in the same “car family”.

I’ve truly loved all the cars I’ve had and felt a personal bond with them that many may deem unnatural. My first car “Shelia” (Yes, I name all of my cars) was my girl! Sheila and I made countless trips back and forth to Missouri when I was in college. We made a 12-hour trip 10 hours many times over and only got one speeding ticket to show for it. She was my first and only sports car.

My second car “Jacqueline” who was a bit more sophisticated came with me to NYC, and although she spent most of her time in New Jersey she saw much of the East Coast from Virginia to Rhode Island and all the states in between as we spent A LOT of time driving to comedy gigs.

And my current baby, “Troyella” …or “Troy” as she goes by has also seen her fair share of Manhattan and the Eastern Seaboard too.

Like many Americans I can say that I sometimes live in my car. I even admit to doing some things in cars I probably shouldn’t have while driving and while parking (but that’s not for publication). I’ve eaten in my car, spoken on the phone and texted (bad Karith), I’ve even been one of those awful people who has applied make-up while behind the wheel. I am ALL about multi-tasking. But I think there comes a time in one’s life where they draw the line. And no matter how comfortable you feel in your car, how close you are to your car there are some things that should NEVER EVER be done while driving. At the top of that list should be at shaving your cooter.

I would have never even thought to advise people against something like that- thinking that oh, it requires a certain amount of attention to detail. More detail than going 65 miles an hour down a highway allow- that and maybe a shower. But apparently not everyone in America has the sense that God gave them. A woman in Florida was recently arrested for uh-um “grooming downstairs” while driving to meet her boyfriend. Again, I’m all for multi-tasking but C’MON!!! If Oprah’s pissed about people talking on their cell phones while driving I can’t wait to see this campaign.

One of the best things about having your own website is you can issue statements or rebut claims that have been made about you that aren’t exactly true or that don’t tell the WHOLE story. This past week I was teamed up with a woman I worked with when I first moved to New York City. She was, and still is, a host on the popular television show “The View” and back then I was a production assistant. Fast forward 10 years to a successful comedy career- one that’s spanned national and international television and radio; we meet again. This time I was a guest commentator on her show—the Joy Behar Show.

Well, I said some stuff about Tiger and his liaisons that ruffled a few feathers. Read the actual transcript.

Something I’m finding VERY interesting is that so far a couple African-American bloggers and journalists who seem to be extremely offended by what I said regarding Tiger Woods are not including the full context of what I said regarding Mr. Woods’ flagrant behavior; nor are they really taking into context what I do for a living.

As a comedian it is my job to speak the truth- my personal truth. Which is something, fortunately, and yes, sometimes unfortunately, journalists do not get to do as there is supposed to be no bias in journalism. As a comedian it is my job to use sarcasm and humor expose irony and hypocrisy. I did that and more in my comments on the Joy Behar Show. I also had the cajones to say what a GREAT number of Americans are thinking regardless of their race or ethnicity. The line I didn’t get in that’s still bugging me is that: Maybe Tiger’s allergic to chocolate?!

I am no way taking back what I said nor apologizing for speaking my mind. I will state again that I find its unbelievably ironic that Tiger who seemed to be doing and saying everything he could in the beginning of his career to water down his “Blackness” is acting like the quintessential the stereo-type of a Black athlete. And let me reiterate what I said on the show—“He’s acting like an athlete period!”—regardless of ethnicity. By which, I mean he wants the Barbie doll trophy wife and a few, or in Tiger’s case, ALLEGEDLY a dozen or so on the side.

I did not say (nor to I believe) that ALL athletes are like that and certainly not all Black athletes are like that. My comment was based on my observations of popular sports figures Black and White.

For the record, (unfortunately, this part was cut out of the transcripts because we were talking all over each other- like they do on “The View”) I said, “Forget Black or White. Forget color. What he did was wrong!”

I really do feel terribly for his wife and my heart goes out to her. Part of me even feels sorry for him because he obviously has some serious issues if he has “everything” i.e. money, a great career, a gorgeous wife, two beautiful children and he’s still pursuing other women in what is likely risky sexual behavior.

So there! I’ve said my piece and my peace. You can hear and watch more when I return to the airwaves of my very own talk show- Karith Foster: America’s Girlfriend on www.Shovio.com. I will be back on the air LIVE Monday December 14th, 2009 at 2pm EST.

Remember to Love and Laugh y’all; not enough people do!

xo,
~Kyf