Do All Vegetarians Have Better Sex?

I’ve got some sad news. Superbowl 43 going to be a little less sexy, now that PETA’s “anti-meat” commercial has been banned from the airways. It’s been ruled too racy for TV; ironic considering the cheerleaders look like they got their uniforms from a Scores “going-outta-boobies” sale. I’m just sayin’—if they were guys, their little hot pants would be so tight you could tell if they celebrated Christmas or Hannakuh. I saw the PETA ad. It’s you’re basic gorgeous model; in barely there clothes, violating a cornucopia of vegetables. I personally will never be able to look at crudite the same way again. If Julia Childs were alive this would kill  her. But what repulses one, inspires another. Which is PETA’s point. They’re message is don’t eat meat because vegetarians have better sex.  Oh really? Well I only know one vegetarian couple and I’m not paid enough to think about their sex life. (Uh-um Don and Deidre Imus) Well, half of that duo it isn’t bad. ‘Course fair is fair. Mr. Imus, recently made a comment about how me and Mat skeeved him out. Newsflash thinking about you and Deirdre isn’t easy on the pyche either. It’s like thinking about a supermodel doing it with a naked mole rat. Know what a naked mole rat looks like? A scrotum…with teeth!  It’s just too upsetting. But if there’s any truth in advertising based on this ad I will be leaving my boyfriend for a bunch of broccoli and a zucchini with his own hot tub.