Green, Purple, Polka-Dotted Really!

Now that Barack’s blown this whole “race thing” out of the water with his undeniably poignant speech Tuesday, let’s take this as a sign to cut the crap America. “White ladies who lunch”- you no longer have to whisper “Black” when you’re talking about your new next door neighbors.  And Black folks now you don’t have to hide from your white friends that you think most of them smell like dogs when their hair gets wet…On second thought, maybe there is such a thing as too much openness. (Don’t get crazy people.)

But there’s a group of folks that get my panties in a wad. I’m talking about people who when trying not to sound racist say stuff like, “I don’t care if someone’s Black, White, Brown, Green, Purple or Polka Dotted.” Really?! ‘Cause I think the last three are cause for concern.

First off, the only thing green, folks unanimously like in this country is $money$. Let us not forget E.T., and the less than warm reception that poor little avocado-colored creature got! With all the government agents on him you’d have thought his “salsa verde”-behind had just snuck across the border without papers. It is ironic though, that a “green card”- could have helped.  Even if folks really were green the only parts they’d have in entertainment would be playing witches, aliens, or swamp monsters. That is unless they were a “little” green person then they could also add the roles of elf and garden gnome to their options. However, when people do turn green it ain’t good, ‘cause it usually means whatever they ate is about to come back up; and no one in their right mind wants to be around them. What I’m sayin’ is- it wouldn’t be easy. I believe America’s favorite frog wrote a little ditty about it.

Now, if you see someone who’s purple- not caring about what color they are may just end up making YOU an accessory to murder. ‘Cause while you’re trying to make nice and be all politically correct you should really be making your arms around their mid-section and doin’ the Heimlich Maneuver.

And if you say, that you really don’t care that someone is polka-dotted- then you’re a better person than me and you must have the immune system of an X-man. ‘Cause I’m as open as they come, but with all these crazy diseases floating around like the H1N1 virus, call ME prejudice if you like, but I’m not even thinking about catching that stuff. “Polka-dotted person” Puh-lease!