Keep it in the "Jackson" Family

There’s so much drama surrounding Michael Jackson’s death. Did someone kill him? What’s going to happen to Neverland Ranch? Who’s getting his kids, that aren’t really his kids, but whatever!!!

I say give em’ to a Jackson…just make it a Jackson that still has their original nose. Granted that cuts out all of The Jackson 5, LaToya, and Janet- “Miss Jackson” if you’re NASTY! But there are plenty of other Jackson’s out there right?!

You got Bo Jackson. Sure he may not be able to teach little Paris and Prince Michael to moon walk, but little Blanket’ll be the baddest blocker on his pee-wee football team. Or give ‘em to baseball great Reggie Jackson…hellooo, they’re already used to a dad who wears tight pants and one glove!

They could keep it on the music side of things if gospel singer Mahalia Jackson or country singer Allan Jackson adopts them. OR there’s Randy Jackson from American Idol. The plus is he’s in the music biz, the minus is: “Yo Dawg! That was HOT” will sadly become an integral part of the children’s everyday vocabulary.

And let’s not forget Jesse Jackson. He’s used to little kids with his last name showing up out of nowhere. They’ll just be the pastel part of his rainbow coalition.

Now if it were up to me their new Daddy be would be Samuel L. Jackson. Can’t you just hear it now. The Jackson kids telling the paparazzi, “I’ve had enough of these mother-f*@#ing flashes in my mother-*@#ing face. If you don’t want my size 5 up your backside I suggest you get the f*#$ outta here! DON’T MAKE ME LOSE MY MOTHER F*&#@!N’ TEMPER!!! How classic would that be?! And somehow I think Michael would approve.