Be You. Be Limitless. | Speaker - Humorist - Author | Karith Foster
  • Who is Karith Foster?
    • Speaker
    • Humorist
    • Author
    • Watch Now
  • Perfect or Happy
    • Book
    • Quiz
  • Booking
  • Press Kit
  • Contact
  • Inversity Solutions

Look Before You Sit

6/18/2008

Comments

 
Yesterday a very disconcerting news story came out of St. Louis about a man who got stuck to a toilet seat in Home Depot. Of course it was a man! That’s because the odds of this ever happening to a woman are slim to none. There are two main reasons this wouldn’t happen to a girl. I can confidently say that EVERY woman in the Western world ALWAYS looks before she sits. For us it’s as natural as breathing, as sleeping, as checking our hair in anything that resembles a mirror. We check the seat in part, because if we’re “lucky” enough to have a man in our lives we know darn well that the toilet seat may not always be down and only once is enough for a deep dish bidet experience. Even in a women’s restroom we look- because not everyone’s a sitter- there are squatters out there who splatter. On more than one occasion in my old office I was on potty patrol and had to post signs that said “If you sprinkle when you tinkle- please be neat and wipe the seat!” That was my nice way of saying, “Don’t be a nasty ass!”

Secondly when we’re talking public restrooms, most women have a condition called “bashful bladder” which really means bashful bowels but that’s not really ladylike to say. So unless we’ve been slipped a horse laxative 90% of women will hold it till they get home.

My boyfriend Mat said it wasn’t ‘cause the guy was a man that it happened it was because he was a dumbass- I of course wanted to argue that sometimes those words are interchangeable. Like potato/potahto, tomato/tomahto…man/dumbass. But then I remembered that women do dumbass things too- like the case of the woman in Kansas who refused to get off her boyfriend’s toilet thus becoming fused with it over the course of two years. Sick? Yes! Demented? Yes! But may I remind you that was a conscious decision- and more importantly it was a private bathroom.

Comments
    Picture

    Karith Foster: Speaker, Humorist, Author

    Karith Foster is a stand-up comedian, motivational speaker, TV & radio personality, actress, author, blogger and entrepreneur.

    Booking!

    Karith Foster's Topics of Laughter

    All
    Allergic To Chocolate
    American Loggers
    Asian Co-worker
    Barack Obama
    Barfight
    Black Co-worker
    Blowing A Bubble
    Carbon Footprint
    Chinese Gymnast
    Comedian Videos
    Comedic Rant
    Comedy Videos
    Corporate America
    Corporate Comedian
    Countess
    Cross Country Universal Truths
    Discovery Network
    Diversity
    Driving Etiquette
    Ellen Degeneres
    Executive Leadership Skills
    Fantasy Football
    Fantasy Politics
    Fidelity
    Finders Keepers
    Forever Young
    Garden Gnome
    Green Card
    Halloween Costumes
    Handcuff Lady
    Harry Potter
    Howard Stern
    How To Be A Successful Comedian
    Humorist
    Imus
    Inner Child
    Karaoke
    Kardashian Costume
    Karith Foster
    Las Vegas Comedy
    Latino Executive
    Madonna
    Mailing Dog Poop
    Mamafest Destiny Syndrome
    Men I Date List
    Michael Jackson
    Monogamy
    Monsters Inside Me
    Mormon
    Oxygen
    Pedicure
    PETA
    Public Restrooms
    Radio
    Respectable Comedian
    R. Kelly
    Texas Vs New York
    The Deadliest Catch
    Things Not To Say
    Tiger Woods
    Toddlers
    Vajayjay Vacation
    Vanessa Williams
    Vegetarians
    Winermobile
    Working Moms

    RSS Feed

COMMUNICATION - ACCEPTANCE - RESPECT - ENGAGEMENT

Humorist
Speaker
Author
Radio/TV Personality
Privacy Policy
Press Kit
Karith Foster | Waking Girl Web Design
  • Who is Karith Foster?
    • Speaker
    • Humorist
    • Author
    • Watch Now
  • Perfect or Happy
    • Book
    • Quiz
  • Booking
  • Press Kit
  • Contact
  • Inversity Solutions