Last week California overturned the law making it legal for gay people to marry. I have to be honest I’ve been torn about it. Texas Karith is like: “It’s about friggin’ time! I mean shouldn’t everyone should have the right to make a legal commitment to the person they love ?!” But the New York Karith raises some very practical objections to this. And noo, it’s not that she thinks by allowing gays to marry it will tear away at the fabric of America. That’s absurd. And as my homoliscious friend Adam says, “Hello!!! Any gay guy worth his weight in Gucci would never do anything destructive fabric”- unless it’s completely tragic and would make your ass look three times it’s size.” No, “New York Karith” is ALL about how it’s going to affect her.
First of all do you KNOW how many gay people are in my life? This will triple the weddings I have to attend. I barely have a free weekend as it is?! Secondly it’s going to cost me a fortune! I don’t know about y’all, but 98% of MY gay friends have class, style and taste. So you can bet your fuzzy peaches there ain’t going to be any half-assed shin-digs taking place in a VA hall with the reception in the basement. Oh, hell no, we’re talking Black tie or nothing at all. And there is no chance my friends are going to be registered at the normal places like Target and Sears…no, I might as well just handover my next paycheck Williams Sonoma and Hammacher Schlemmer and just watch my true blue Lesbian friends will be rakin’ it in at REI.
So emotionally, socially and morally I won’t be affected by “gay marriage” one iota. But financially I’m screwed! Mr. Imus who’s a proponent for this initially said that gay people getting married wasn’t going to affect him either- well it is now, ‘cause New York Karith is gonna need a serious raise.
Karith Foster: Humorist, TV Radio Personality, Speaker, Author
Karith Foster is a stand-up comedian, motivational speaker, TV & radio personality, actress, author, blogger and entrepreneur.
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